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Cragganmore 12 year old distillery bottlingWhen Lou Reed wrote ‘Perfect Day’ he probably felt a little like I do now. Not only have I just discovered a new bottle of Cragganmore, in need of a review, but my next door neighbour has just arrived home from work. Although not normally a cause for celebration, this evenings aproach produced, in me, an overwhelming rush of joy. His enormous, black 4X4 with dark tinted windows, huge wheels and ‘DESTROYER’ or ‘AVENGER” proudly emblazoned on every panel, rounded the corner at the end of our street with a new and unwanted logo. Messily spray painted on the side was the legend ‘I’M SCARED OF PRETZELS’ – a reference to the unfortunate affliction that makes Mr Brown such an entertaining party guest. Still giggling like a six year old I pour a glass of the definitive Speyside malt. Cragganmore is beautiful. Everything that makes a single malt wonderful is here; an incredibly complex aroma, a smooth firm body and a restrained suggestion of meadow herbs and grasses. As I finish the second glass I am suddenly struck by a powerful thought. Rushing up to Matthew’s bedroom I violate the chaos in an attempt to find painted evidence of his misdemeanor, but to no avail. It seems I must wait a little longer for my teenage son to make his father truly proud.. |
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Bowmore 12 year old distillery bottlingApparently, the only day I should be asked for help or money is the ‘day the whisky arrives’. This explains the looks of despair on family faces today as I curse ‘another bloody Islay malt’ on unwrapping a bottle of Bowmore. For a moment I thought they were sensitive to my pain. It’s not that I dislike Islay malts, I hate them. Islay enjoying friends tell me these evocative malts transport the drinker to the beautiful, dramatic island of their origin. If I wanted to be battered by wind and sea on an exposed rock, mouth full of peat and seaweed, I’d build lighthouses for a living instead of working in a bank. Bowmore is a little softer than the malts from the southern Islay distilleries with less peat and a little more sweatness. Am I converted? No. Do I drink it anyway? Of course. Do my family part me from my time and money? Regretably so. |
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Auchentoshan 12 Year OldJenny, the wonderful lady who keeps me on the expensive side of sanity, feels my love of Auchentoshan is a vindication of her belief that “the physical theory of magnetic attraction can be applied to all personal relationships”. ‘Opposites always attract’ she says. I suggest that spending more time in the company of this gentle, easy-going malt will mellow my character. She suggests I spend more time with the kids. No wonder we’re still so attracted to each other! The time I do get to spend with this fine example of a lowland malt always provides a pleasant little hole in life’s Polo of pain. If I have one critisism, it’s the trouble I have stopping before the end of the bottle. This 12 year old Auchentoshan replaces the 10 year old which used to divide opinion. Some saw the 10 year old as a little insipid with a thinness and lack of character partly caused by the triple distillation process. I saw it for £15 in Asda and instantly warmed to it. Triple distillation is often used by Irish distillers to refine and smooth their whisky but is unique to Auchentohan in Scotland where single malts are distilled twice. The result is a wonderfully sweet, gentle and delicate malt. The 12 year old retaining the qualities of the 10 year old but a greater depth of flavour and more complex finish. |
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Ardbeg 10 year old – Distillery BottlingIf you’re a fan of the Islay malts I’m sure your intrigued by the constant battle to be the biggest, peatiest, nastiest malt. Ardbeg has been extensively and expensively restored but, lacking their old fanless malting facilities, seem to be going for the ‘we’re more subtle than our neighbours’ approach. They’re probably right, but if it’s subtlety you’re after you’re in very much the wrong place. So what’s this gentle dominatrix like? I don’t like Islay malts, which is a strange thing to say for a whisky lover, but I find the predominant flavours unpleasant. The honey and citrus of Speyside malts remind me of summer meadows, but surely the tingle of phenol followed by a mouth-full of peat is the taste of the trip from hospital to grave. Ardbeg softens the journey with a pretty nurse and a spring morning burial, but it’s still only Monday mornings and children’s parties when I find this prospect appealing. |
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10 year old – Distillery BottlingIt is easy to appreciate beauty after a wonderful evening meal in a fine restaurant, surrounded by articulate yet humble intellectuals. It is much more difficult when eating frozen pizza with two grunting teenagers, even when the beauty in question is a bottle of 10 year old Aberlour whisky. After politely refusing the tempting “Kit-Kat or an apple” dessert, I retire to my study to ‘work’. Twenty minutes later and I’m beginning to gently unwind with one of the softest and most pleasing speyside single malts. Aberlour malt whisky has plenty of character and complexity with wonderful and lasting flavour development. I could describe it all in far greater detail but I really can’t be bothered – I’m enjoying the drinking too much… Well, apparently I can actually be bothered to describe Aberlour in more detail if I want to get any further bottles of single malt whisky to review. It’s not enough to drink the review bottle of Aberlour, complain about the family and say ‘I like this single malt – it is very nice’. I do like it though. Some people say Aberlour is a ‘pleasant’ malt and they mean it very much as a critisism but, for me, the gentle sweet honey and mild smokiness are what a good malt should be. The gentleness and sweetness of Aberlour I love. Some whisky drinkers crave a more aggressive attack with malts that provide more of an assault on the senses than is offered by Aberlour whisky. Personally though, if I wanted to be physically and emotionally destroyed while ingesting an angry and vengeful aural substance, I’d leave this peaceful haven and wonderful malt whisky and rejoin my family for dessert. |
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Bladnoch 10 year old – flora and faunaOccasionally there are beautiful mornings when I feel like dancing merrily through life, smiling at children and kissing traffic wardens – but not often. Growling at children and kicking traffic wardens wouldn’t lift my spirits after the breakfast I suffered today. Forced to endure ‘Freshly Squeezed’ on channel 4 I felt obliged to describe the irritating presenters as ‘clueless twits’. Matthew, my 14 year old son, defended them by claiming the ‘clueless twits’ earned “twice what you do, Dad”. “There’s more to life than money” I retorted smugly as the postman arrived with an overweight phone bill, stuffed with the fat of Vodaphone and Orange. As I started to explode, the chorus of ‘more to life than money’ drove me, cursing, from the kitchen. I’ve found myself stalking the house this evening, muttering ‘Bladnoch, Bladnoch, Bladnoch’ as a kind of mantra ever since the review bottle arrived. My spirits rise as I lock myself away from family life and pour a glass of the pale amber malt. Bladnoch seems a little more assertive than other Lowland malts, while still retaining the classic softness of its region. Citrus fruit and a little sherry – it could be Christmas morning as a child – I’m drifting back to happier times…. |
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Balvenie 12 Year Old DoubleWoodBrisbain experiences a phenomenon every summer where happy, law abiding men, after months of oppressive heat, lose their sensibilities and murder their entire family. After two warm weeks in Dorset I know how they feel. Taking two hormonal teenage kids away from their friends to a quiet guest-house provided a non too eclectic mix of boredom, hatred and more boredom and hatred. Only leaving them behind with the house could have been any worse. As I walk down to the river one evening to ‘conduct some research’ into the effectiveness of Balvenie as a means of alleviating depression, I make the decision to drown myself in the event of a negative result. The whisky is beautiful, the breeze is cool, the family is out of earshot and I live to gripe another day. Balvenie is the sister distillery to Glenfiddich and certainly the girl I would dream of courting. She is sweet, musky and honeyed, a luxurious and distinctive companion. However, her sister is nice enough, a little cheaper, and available in even the poorest public houses…. |
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